About the Blogger:

John T. Lorax is a literary avatar, a pseudonymn, a way to lie in public, if you will.  Behind this thin veil of questionable morality is John Hubertz, husband of Judy, Father of Lori and Elizabeth, Stepfather to Ben and Sammie, Joe and Kesia.

Mike Benedict is the name of my best friend.

About the Blog:

The Swamp Prophets speak.  Call me the Lorax, the voice of history neglected, the forest and the trees.

Call me the Lorax.  There is no right or wrong in history, good or bad.

Choices do not matter

Call me the Lorax. I am the meaning and the truth.

There is no failure in history.  Just truth.

Oh sure, people lie and say "Things are bad, and getting worse!"  Well, I know the truth.  Our economic and social structure is healthy and vibrant, alive and free - but as with all good things, it changes all the time.

"The Only requirement for Prophecy is an adequate Knowledge of History and an Attention to Detail."  

Someone I admire said that a long while back, and this moment in the history of man's struggle to eat, drink and be merry sure proves her right.  You see, without the correct question, answers don't matter at all.

WBC Westboro
Baptist Church

Dateline:  December 18, 2012
Subject:  Westboro Baptist Church
For Immediate Release:

What could a person with a lot of money do to legally disrupt the Westboro Baptist church?

I saw that question on reddit the other day.   I know the answer to that question, and yes, it would take deep pockets, but I think you can get most or all of it back; and perhaps turn a profit.  Any Real Estate speculators out there in 'netland?

To legally disrupt and evict the Westboro Baptist Church, a relatively rich person could actually do what this blog post describes.  I do not believe this plan suggests immoral or illegal methods.  I'd estimate that when the dust settled you would have spent between $680K and $1M dollars US.  It is a rough guess, but I'll post my figures if requested.

Note - oddly, a lot of my business climate algorithms came out with a profit on this exercise.  It all depends on the market and if interest rates ever start to rise again.  If they do, this process should net about $400K profit in a three-year swing.  All of this is very much a guess, but an informed guess.

Executive Summary:

How can you within the law disrupt and eventually evict the Westboro Baptist Church?  Here's one way that is sure to work, and I bet a dollar to a donut that it would be relatively smooth sailing as far as time invested goes.


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Announce plans for a large, multi-use public building.  Be vague about the final purpose (Use Karl Rove's SuperPAC application as a guide). A few weeks later, with cooperation of nearby residents and business begin buying parcels of land and homes and business buildings (keep the leases or grandfather current residents in).  Let the property owners in on the joke, and have a side contract for a return sale to them for a 25% profit anytime they want.


File a petition (power of REDDIT?) to Westboro's city council and have them condemn the church as blocking a vital new facility. The church will fight back.


Plan of Action:                        

Make the entire circumference of the Church property into a construction zone. Begin moving 100 loads of gravel each Sunday and Wednesday into the "construction site". 50 loads in, 49 loads out.
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Eventually, the church will be condemned for public good, it will be paid for (not generously) by a contribution you make to the general fund.

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Turn the building and any properties that you now own free and clear into a youth center and GLBT tolerance museum, featuring our slain heroic men and women of all genders, and returning soldiers as primary exhibits.

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Then we all get to go to heaven, if it exists. If you aren't there when I arrive, I'm calling a cab.

Maybe we need to find the guy who owns this boat: